After narrating his life story, he turned to us all; campus students who had been listening keenly to his life story. We had heard of his achievement, failures, disappointment, his sinful past, and how the Lord saved him. Now it was our turn to give out ours! Sitting in a circle, everyone seemed to be deep in thoughts- thinking. It was time to tell that embarrassing story that makes your heart ache and blood freeze in the veins. Sitting there, I was not ready to share my story. I wished that someone else would volunteer and share his.
Perhaps you think, every one here is more holier than you. In other times it is, their stories are better than mine. Yours seems worst of all to tell. And it is a struggle whether to say it or not. And we kept silent, no one wanted to volunteer, and he called someone.
Next time, we visit a friend. We talk about the importance of having friends with who we are open and who can hold us accountable. I remember a question a friend asked me not long ago. If there was anyone who had access to my Social media accounts. If we really have things to hide from our best friends then probably we are not ready to show it to God.
For these two occasions, the main reason is not hearing and getting to know how fallen and corrupt we are. It is not merely seeing how fallen and messed up our past is. It is not for comparison and seeing who has a better past. It is self-examination and being open to telling our past which drags us back and my current struggles that nobody knows but us so that friends may help us.
Now, who do you tell this long story which the very thought of it you shun every time it comes to mind? Fear of losing friends, appearing useless and pretenders, being harshly judged instead of being helped, and fear of being avoided like a plague once people see the dark side of us keeps us to just pretending we are fine and all is well. Many times we can talk about it shallowly shading the dark spots but saying it all feels difficult to say.
It is embarrassing, and you feel your guilt and how fallen and sinful and unprofitable and inconsistent you are. You find that you have not plucked out the right eye and the arm which is leading you to sin. Many times, everybody just pretends they are okay and happy and they are killing sin while in reality, they are struggling in the closets. We pretend we are winning and healthy and alive, while in fact, we are losing, sick, and almost dying. But because everybody is doing that, we also join them in that pretense.
In closing up, this lengthy post, how are we really doing? What in the scriptures are we doing? Are we growing in grace, hating our sins, and mortifying the deeds of the flesh? Are we overcoming the world or we are being overcome by the world? I do not know who you are and how your life has been. But you know very well about your life ad God does too. If you know that we have been walking in a manner, not worthy of the Gospel, we must repent of our sin and get back on track. Even Christians, are full of inconsistencies in their walk. When we fall, let’s wake up and repent.
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.