Does Bible allow a man to marry an older woman?

The subject of whether a man can marry an older woman is one of the hotly debated topics among Christians and theologians. The Bible does not give any age requirement for marriage, and believers are at liberty to marry their partner of any age as long as they are old enough by law and mature enough to enter into marriage.

While the Bible does not explicitly state an age requirement for marriage, it does provide principles on love, respect, companionship, and the purpose of marriage. This article will explore biblical perspectives on age differences in marriage and whether a man marrying an older woman aligns with scriptural teachings.

The Biblical Definition of Marriage

Marriage is biblically defined as a covenant between a man and a woman, instituted by God for love, companionship, and procreation (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31). The key factors emphasized in marriage is mutual respect, love, and commitment and not age.

God declared in Genesis that, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Genesis 2:18. The term “helper” (Hebrew: ezer) does not imply subordination but rather a partner who complements and supports. There is no mention that a wife must be younger than her husband for this partnership to be valid.

Biblical Examples of Age Differences in Marriage

While the Bible does not explicitly highlight instances of men marrying older women, it does contain examples of marriages where age differences were not a primary concern.

1. Boaz and Ruth (Ruth 3-4)
   • The story of Boaz and Ruth suggests a significant age gap, with Boaz referring to Ruth as “my daughter” (Ruth 3:10-11). This term indicates that Boaz was a way older than Ruth, but the principle can be considered in reverse as well. The emphasis was on Ruth’s character and Boaz’s willingness to fulfill his role as a kinsman-redeemer rather than their age difference.
2. Abraham and Sarah (Genesis 17:17)
   • Abraham was ten years older than Sarah. While this example shows a husband being older, it does not establish an age requirement, implying that biblical marriages were more about purpose than age alignment.
3. Deborah and Lapidoth (Judges 4:4)
   • Deborah, a prophetess and judge, was married to Lapidoth. The Bible does not mention their ages, but Deborah’s leadership role suggests she may have been more prominent or experienced than her husband.

Key Biblical Principles for Marriage

Rather than focusing on age, the Bible gives principles to be considered when entering into a marriage covenant.

1. For Wives; (Ephesians 5:25-33)
   • “Submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:25-33). This command does not say that requirement.
2. For Husbands; (Ephesians 5:21)
   •  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself…For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh…each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:25,28,31,33)
3. Wisdom and Discernment (Proverbs 3:5-6, James 1:5)
   • Couples should seek wisdom and guidance from God in choosing a partner. The most important aspect is finding a spouse who shares faith, values, and commitment.

Addressing Cultural and Societal Concerns

In many cultures, there is an expectation that the man should be older than the woman in marriage. The Bible does not prohibit a man from marrying an older woman, as long as the marriage honors God and follows biblical principles.

Perceptions of marriage have been shaped by social conventions throughout history. However, cultural norms should not be confused with biblical commands. In the past, men have often married younger women, and older women have rarely been married by younger men. Men who marry older wives often find themselves heavily criticized and receive a lot of backlash from society following their decisions. Biblical laws should not be confused with cultural customs, nevertheless.

The order of creation—Adam was created first, then Eve (1 Timothy 2:13) —is a frequent defense of the notion that a man must be older than his wife. According to some interpretations, men need to always be older than their spouses. But rather than being prescriptive, this passage is descriptive. Adam’s creation does not imply that all men must be older than their spouses. If this reasoning were to be extended, one might argue that men should “produce” their wives from their own bodies, which is clearly not the case.

Potential Challenges and How to Address Them

While age differences may present some challenges, they can be navigated with biblical wisdom:

1. Biological and Health Differences
   • If the woman is significantly older, considerations regarding fertility and long-term health may arise. However, marriage is not solely about childbearing but about companionship and love.
2. Social Perception
   • Some may judge a couple when the woman is older. However, Christians are called to follow God’s will rather than societal expectations (Romans 12:2).
3. Different Life Stages
   • Differences in maturity and life experiences can either strengthen or challenge a marriage. Effective communication and shared values are essential.

Conclusion

The Bible does not forbid a man from marrying an older woman. Age is not a determining factor for a godly marriage—rather, love, mutual respect, and shared faith are the most important aspects. A couple should seek God’s guidance, ensure they are compatible in values and purpose, and prioritize biblical principles over societal norms. Ultimately, if the relationship honors God, it is biblically acceptable for a man to marry an older woman.